Chapter 19

"London was where we decided to stay for a while. We wanted to spend a few months in this amazing city. My friend Clerval was eager to meet smart and talented people who were living here at that time. But for me, that wasn't the main reason. 

I was focused on gathering information for a promise I had made. So, I quickly used the introduction letters I had brought with me to meet some of the most famous scientists.

If this trip had happened back when I was happy and studying, I would have been super excited. But now, my life felt ruined, and I only met these people to learn about what I needed to know. Being around others was hard for me. When I was alone, I could think about things like the sky and the earth. 

Talking with Henry made me feel better for a bit. But being around cheerful people just made me feel worse. I felt like there was a big wall between me and everyone else, stained with the blood of William and Justine. Remembering what happened to them made me feel awful.

But when I looked at Clerval, I saw myself from before. He was curious and wanted to learn new things. He enjoyed seeing the differences in how people behaved. He had a goal in mind too. He wanted to go to India. He thought he could help with European colonization and trade because he knew a lot about the country. He could only do that from Britain. He was always busy, and the only thing that got in the way of his fun was my sad mood. I tried not to show it too much so I wouldn't ruin his good time. 

Sometimes I'd say I had something else to do, just so I could be alone. I also started collecting things for my new project. But it felt terrible, like torture, every time I thought about it or talked about it.

After spending some months in London, we got a letter from someone in Scotland who had visited us in Geneva before. They talked about how beautiful Scotland was and invited us to visit them in Perth. Clerval really wanted to go, and even though I didn't like being around people, I wanted to see mountains and rivers again.

We got to England in October and now it was February. So, we decided to start heading north in another month. We didn't want to take the main road to Edinburgh. Instead, we planned to visit places like Windsor, Oxford, Matlock, and the lakes in Cumberland. We hoped to finish our trip around the end of July. I packed up my science stuff and the things I needed for my project, planning to finish it somewhere quiet in the Scottish highlands.

We left London on March 27th and stayed a few days in Windsor, walking around its beautiful forest. It was all new to us mountain folks. The big trees, the animals, and the deer were all new and interesting.

Next, we went to Oxford. Remembering all the history that happened there more than a hundred years ago was exciting. We thought about Charles I and his army being there. Oxford had stayed loyal to him when everyone else had joined Parliament. Thinking about all those events made us feel like we were stepping into the past. 

But even without that, Oxford was a beautiful place. The old colleges looked amazing, and the streets were impressive. The river Isis flowed beside the city, and it was stunning to see. We enjoyed being there, but it was bittersweet for me. 

I used to be so happy, but now everything just reminded me of my sadness.

We stayed in Oxford for a while, exploring the area and trying to find places linked to important events in English history. Our little adventures sometimes lasted longer because we found so many interesting things. We visited the tomb of Hampden, a famous figure from history, and the place where he died. For a moment, I felt hopeful and free, thinking about ideas like freedom and sacrifice. But soon, my sadness came back, and I felt hopeless again.

Leaving Oxford was hard, but we had to move on to Matlock, our next stop. The area around the village looked a bit like Switzerland, but on a smaller scale. It was beautiful, but it didn't have the big snowy mountains like home. We visited a cave and saw some natural history displays, similar to the ones we'd seen in Switzerland. Just hearing Henry say "Chamounix" made me shudder, so I was eager to leave Matlock behind.

From Derby, we continued north and spent two months in Cumberland and Westmorland (Villages in Northern Britain in Scotland). The scenery reminded me of Switzerland even more. The patches of snow on the mountains, the lakes, and the rushing streams felt familiar and comforting. We made some friends there who almost made me forget my sadness. Clerval was really happy, even more than me. He loved being around smart people and felt like he discovered new things about himself when he was with them. 

He even said he could live there forever and not miss Switzerland or the Rhine.

But being a traveler isn't all fun. It comes with its own challenges. You're always on the move, and just when you start to relax, you have to leave and find something new to explore.

We hadn't been in Cumberland and Westmorland for long before it was time to meet our friend in Scotland. So, we said goodbye to our new friends and continued our journey. I wasn't too sad about leaving. I'd been neglecting my promise for a while, and I worried about what the monster might do if I didn't keep my word. I felt anxious every moment, waiting for letters from my family. If they were late, I panicked. And when they arrived, I was too scared to open them. Sometimes I thought the monster was following us, ready to hurt my friend. When I felt that way, I stuck close to Henry, afraid to leave his side. Even though I hadn't done anything wrong, I felt like I'd brought a curse upon myself, as real as if I'd committed a crime.

I went to Edinburgh in Scotland feeling tired and disinterested, but even someone feeling as bad as me could appreciate the city's beauty. Clerval didn't like it as much as Oxford, though. He preferred the older city. But the new part of Edinburgh, with its castle and surroundings, made up for it. Arthur's Seat, St. Bernard's Well, and the Pentland Hills made him happy and impressed him. But I was eager to finish our journey.

After spending a week in Edinburgh, we headed north through Coupar, St. Andrew's, and along the Tay River to Perth, where our friend lived. But I wasn't in the mood to talk to strangers or be a cheerful guest. So, I told Clerval I wanted to explore Scotland alone. 

I asked him to let me be by myself for a while. Henry didn't want me to go alone, but when he saw how determined I was, he stopped arguing. He asked me to write often and said he'd rather be with me, even in my sad moments, than with strangers he didn't know.

After saying goodbye to Henry, I decided to visit a remote part of Scotland to finish my work alone. I was sure the monster was following me and would show up when I finished so he could get his companion.

So, I traveled through the northern highlands and chose one of the farthest Orkney Islands as my workspace. It was perfect for what I needed. Just a rocky island with waves crashing against it. The land was barren, hardly enough to feed a few cows and the people who lived there. I rented a small, rundown hut with just two rooms. It wasn't much, but it was enough for me. 

I ordered some repairs, bought some furniture, and settled in. The locals were too busy with their own troubles to pay much attention to me. I was left alone, hardly noticed, and barely thanked for the little help I gave. 

Suffering had made them numb to everything.

In the mornings, I worked on my project. But in the evenings, if the weather was good, I walked along the rocky beach, listening to the waves crashing. It was a repetitive but ever-changing sight. I thought about Switzerland and how different it was from this desolate landscape. Switzerland's hills were covered with vineyards, and its cottages dotted the plains. Its beautiful lakes reflected the blue sky, and even when they got rough, they were nothing compared to the roar of the ocean.

At first, I split my time like this, but as I worked more, it became harder and harder. Sometimes I couldn't bring myself to enter my workspace for days. Other times, I worked day and night just to finish. 

It was a dirty job, and I felt sick to my stomach doing it. At first, I was excited and focused, but now it felt terrible, and my heart ached with every moment.

Being in such a terrible place, doing such awful work, and being completely alone made me feel restless and nervous. I was always on edge, afraid of running into the monster. Sometimes I sat with my eyes on the ground, too scared to look up and see him. I was scared to be away from other people, afraid that he'd come when I was alone.

But I kept working, and my project was getting closer to being finished. I looked forward to completing it, but I also felt a sense of dread. I didn't want to think about what might happen when I was done."